Every so often I’m prompted to respond to a call for art. This small self-portrait is a response to one of those calls. I can’t say creating a self-portrait is always easy or on the top of my list of things to paint. The last one I did was about 2 years ago and is very different than this version. I suppose that’s helpful in terms of recording personal growth. That’s how I choose to see it!
The call was specific to the pandemic and how one views themselves in that context. To be honest I had to think about this for awhile. I couldn’t come up with a clear answer and noticed that I was leaning toward not painting the portrait. Possible avoidance lurching….
The challenge seemed to yank at my insides so I decided I would just paint something. I set up this mirror with a white wicker trim, loving it’s circular motif and the fond memories of it being in my daughters room as she was growing. As it is with many of my paintings the
insights and meaning often come in hindsight as I trust where I’m being led with the subjects or objects I am drawn to.
The circular motif in the white wicker bound mirror felt important as it emerged on the canvas. Unity came to mind and loops of connection I don’t always understand. I thought about adding a mask but decided I didn’t want to. I wear one when I go out but not at home, it’s not necessary. At the core I just didn’t want to see that in this painting. I didn’t need the reminder. There’s been so much more to my experience in this pandemic than wearing a mask.
Being able to look at myself in a mirror isn’t always easy and wearing a mask wont help me avoid the hard work of searching out those parts of myself that I can’t find peace with. I need to embrace them, and look, and listen honestly, so I understand myself. It’s only from that place that I feel I can actually see the adjacent travelers with me, on this journey, and find compassion.
Categories: Art Covid-19, New Paintings, The Figure
RENDERED IMPRESSIONS / Original Oil Paintings by Catherine J. Martzloff 
Beautiful. Also, I’m curious, by responding to a call of art, do you mean one that your heart is calling you to do?
Thank you for the compliment. That’s such a great question and I think it would have been helpful for me to clarify that meaning. A “call for art” is when a gallery is looking to host a show around a specific theme. They post “a call” so artists may submit an entry. There can be all kinds of parameters around a call for art.
I do think for me, there also needs to be tie in to what you are mentioning – my heart needs to feel a calling to enter.
Hey! I never got this notification. I’m sorry it took so long to reply. That’s awesome, like a telegraphic signal that’s “calling out for art!” Awe, yes! The heart is one of the best sources of inspiration. Funnily, heart and art rhyme!
This is just simply a wonderful painting and post❤️. First, the whole painting is just brilliant and captivating. It draws the attention deeper and deeper, telling a story or wonder. The post creates a wonderful context of personal and practical creating. Really enjoyed this!! 😊
Thank you Liza! Self portraits require some bravery on my end. So this was an adventure for sure. : )
Definitely…. I have never attempted one or thought of it! Hmmm, it would require such a creative and symbolic bravery!