“Pineapple Medley” 10 x 8″ Oil on mounted panel – $200
Creating derivative works from older paintings is a practice that is proving to be inspirational for me. It’s a way to help myself stay connected to my core and my painting while I walk through some significant challenges.
Parts of this adventure are linked to the personal inner work that I have been going through over the past years. In that process of taking a closer look at my past and historical trauma in order to heal has been difficult. At times painting is just not an option as it feels like anything creative inside me has vanished. What’s interesting is as I was growing up drawing, painting and making things was what helped me escape the inner pain I couldn’t reveal.
The closer look in terms of my painting now is manifesting in creating work from other work and in particular still life paintings. This piece for example is a section of a larger oil painting. The desire to abstract the view a bit more with a close up perspective allowed for cropping of objects and having some of them fall off the page. I suppose there’s a lot of significance to this in terms of how I felt growing up and even into adulthood. As I write “falling off the page” there’s a twinge of emotion surfacing because I identify with that as an experience in not being seen even when I was physically present.
The brighter colors I suspect represent a part of my interior that’s real, alive and quite vibrant. They have been an evolution of expression that I continue to grow comfortable with and refuse to ignore. I’ve lost the desire to aimlessly work at “fitting in” so that I can belong to someone else’s idea of what’s right or appropriate. That’s when I disappear!